Live with a grudge hard and unpleasant. Especially if it is an offence to the closest people. It destroys a person from the inside and does not give him a harmonious development and enjoy life. It is a paradox, but resentment against the mother and father is most often experienced by people whose parents faithfully performed their parental duty and surrounded their children with love from all sides.
You can blame all your troubles on mom and dad and expect compensation from them. And your own life falls more and more into disrepair, your self-esteem falls, and your psyche is shaken. Sometimes negative emotions are so strong that you can hardly get rid of negative thoughts when you are at work, gambling on Bizzo Casino or making any things you need or want to do. Such feelings worsen the quality of our lives.
With the forgiveness of parents for the infantile person begins the path to a new life – an adult and conscious one. And remember – forgiveness does not have to be accompanied by restoration of the relationship. If a parent was really too cruel and refuses to admit it, you are right not to communicate. So, here are some ways to forgive your parents and become a happier person.
Recognize the harm of resentment to yourself
Parents are undoubtedly worried about your resentment. But it is yourself who does the most damage. You literally put a voracious monster inside of you that is slowly destroying you. Resentment is one of the most destructive human emotions. It is a mixture of unmet expectations, despair, and powerlessness. All of this is seasoned with anger toward the object that is assigned as the culprit of the misfortune.
This only makes the situation worse. Major problems remain unresolved, and new ones are added to them over time.
Remember what good things your parents did for you
The offended person is completely consumed by his resentment. He is convinced that he had irreparable damage, so he demonizes the offender. Children usually take all the good things their parents do for them for granted, and exaggerate the bad things a hundredfold.
Talk to your parents
Share your worries with your mom and dad. Only it’s not necessary to do it in the form of complaints but in the form of a trusting conversation. Tell what you missed as a child, and ask why they did things this way or that way.
Try to understand your parents
In cases where there is a real reason to be offended, try to explain for yourself the parent’s behaviour. This applies to situations of physical aggression, abuse of punishment, moral pressure, and humiliation.
It is unlikely that they did bad things to you on purpose. It is more likely that they simply did not know how to act differently. They may have picked up the pattern of behaviour from their parents or other significant adults. This in no way excuses them, but it helps you to take off your judge’s mantle – it’s very tiring and energy-consuming to wear it.
Work with your pain
If the resentment for the actions of your parents in the past does not leave you, then you believe that these actions are detrimental to you in the present. For example, your mother once carelessly made a comment about your appearance, and you now believe that you have an inferiority complex because of her words. But first of all, it is impossible to establish the exact cause of psychological problems. Most often they are caused by a whole complex of factors – from the peculiarities of the nervous system to the daily regime.
Happiness and resentment are incompatible things. If you want to find the first, you need to get rid of the second. Especially when it comes to such significant figures as mother and father. And remember, that life is too short to waste it on negative emotions.